


newfound love for the frost giants

by Deanpala



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fantastic Racism, Gen, Highly based on homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jotunn | Frost Giant, Look guys, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Thor is trying, based loosely on my coming out, be the fic you want to see in the world, but he was raised to hate frost giants, but still racist, he wouldn't be cool with it right away, i get thors an amazing brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-15 13:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: Thor learns Loki is a Frost Giant, and having grown up with stories of them, is having a hard time dealing with it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Might be OOC a bit because I've never written these two. Also Thor did not get banished in this AU but did loose his hammer.
> 
> Chapter summary: Thor finds out and doesn't react the best

There was something wrong with Loki.

Thor didn't know what it was, but he had been different since their visit to Jotunhiem, more distant, withdrawn, and that was simply unacceptable.

So Thor did what any self respecting big brother would do and broke into Lokis room.

"Thor! What are you doing in here leave!"

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about-"

"-DAMMIT LOKI!

Please. Just tell me _why_ what is  _wrong_."

"It is nothing! I swear, I assure you it's nothing Thor."

"Then I shall ask mother and father!"

"Go ahead, they already know the truth-"

"What? What truth?"

"No nothing I simply meant-"

"WHAT. TRUTH."

"Thor there isn't any-"

"LIAR!"

Thor knew he was going to far to just be concerned, to looming and in Lokis face, but he couldn't care less.

And it regretfully paid off as Loki started yelling right back at him.

"FINE! YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH HERE IT IS! THE TRUTH IS THAT THEY WERE RIGHT, EVERYONE WAS RIGHT, I DO NOT BELONG! THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHOS EVER CARED ABOUT ME JUST BECAUSE I'M YOUR BROTHER BUT YOU AREN'T EVEN THAT! I'M NOTHING MORE THAN A HIDEOUS MONSTER FOR YOU TO SLAY AND......................" Loki seemed to loose all the fire driving him to yell back. He didn't look upset or sad just.... tired. resigned. "The truth you want so desperately is that I should not be called Loki Odinson, but Laufeyson."

Thor stood there for a minute in silence before bursting into laughter.

"Ha! You almost had me fooled, good one! But seriously brother what ails you?"

Loki said nothing, just kept the tired look on his face.

"Loki please tell me you are jesting."

Loki refused to look at him and Thor was reduced to begging.

"Brother please, please tell me it is not true."

Loki swallowed thickly before answering.

"We are not brothers no matter how much we might wish other wise."

"Norns you're serious you really- the son of Laufey- no you aren't- you can't be-"

"Thor-"

"No you CAN'T be Jotun, I grew up with you! I played and fought with you, we comforted each other in times of trouble! You aren't- You can't be a- a- a- monster!"

All was silent for a moment as the word hung in the air.

"I'm sorry I- I need- I need- Norns. I just- I need some time Loki. To- to deal with- with all of this."

With that, Thor left, leaving Loki all alone with tears in his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: self deprecating thoughts, self harm, and attempted suicide

It had been three days since Loki had told Thor his true heritage.

Three days since Thor had started avoiding him.

Three days since being called a monster.

He screamed and sobbed and utterly destroyed anything he could get his hands on, unable to be still but unable to face the world in fear of breaking it.

It made so much more sense now. The god of lies. He certainty wasn't a god of mischief, his fun was not harmless enough for that. Maybe the god of chaos, that would make more sense.

He paced and raved like the animal he was for what felt like days, feeling he might start foaming from the mouth any moment now.

When Loki looked in the mirror he saw blue skin and red eyes each time, whether they were there or not he could not say but he saw it none the less and it simply could not stand.

His nails dug in deep and the pain felt sharp, but in the good way, refreshing, the way the snow and cold feels.

He squeezed tighter with that thought. Norns the cold. That was the last thing he wanted to think about right now.

He kept it up for hours until his skin matched his eyes which were the only part he could not change and he laid back satisfied. He needed to think.

They were monsters the lot of them. He would give anything to get rid of all the blasted creatures but the whole fiasco with Thors hammer showed that that idea wouldn't turn out well for him but what else was he supposed to do? He had been the perfect son, the perfect brother as much as he could, and he was tired. All that he knew was left was that the Aesir killed Jotar and he wan't even that.

Well. There was one Jotunn he had access to.

Loki opened the window with a trembling hand.

And then he jumped.


	3. Chapter 3

Thor could not comprehend what he had learned.

He could not handle to even be in the castle right now, to hear the council talk about what they should do with the war on Jotunnheim and he would usually go to the Allfather for advice or his mother for comfort but he couldn’t look at them right now they had lied, they had brought that- that- that thing into their home and let Thor start to care for him (it? Giants didn’t even have a sex right? But then what could he call Loki, sibling? Could he even call Loki that?)

Loki. Oh Norns Loki. He couldn’t- he couldn’t-

Even outside of the palace there were whispers of the possible upcoming war. About how the monsters deserved it and the war needed to wipe the monsters out (Could they even go to war without it seeming to be a direct attack on Loki or would not fighting be seen as bias?), to have Thor finish the job, and why was the Allfather taking so long to make this decision Thor could do it he was already known as the giant slayer.

Norns. Thor the giant slayer. That was what Loki knew him as, the giant slayer, and his last interaction with him had been to call him a monster.

He shouldn’t have left Loki alone, no matter what he felt about the situation, whether Loki was his brother or sibling still, whether he started to act monstrous, whether Loki tried to kill him or the other way (Norns he hoped it never came to that, never that, not his little brother, never Loki) but leaving him was a mistake. He just hoped he wasn’t too late before Loki did something rash.

Before he knew it he was nearing Lokis room though not close enough, not when he saw that first boot step over the ledge-

He didn’t even notice he had Mjölnir was in his hand, all he knew was he couldn’t let Loki fall.


	4. Chapter 4

Thor’s rescue did not work quite as he wished, instead he ended up crashing into Loki and both of them were thrown to Lokis floor.

He had also not been expecting Loki to be covered in blood and claw marks.

Thor felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Loki……… what have you done?”

Loki can do nothing but sob and try to push Thor away as he holds his brother.

“Loki.”

“Get out.” He was trembling like a leaf and despite his words was holding on to Thor like his life depended on it.

“Shhh shh sh, you’re ok Loki, it’s going to be alright, I will not leave you.”

“I hate you,” he weeps quietly and repeats it over and over like a prayer “I hate you I hate you I hate you.”

All Thor can do is gently ran his fingers through Lokis hair like mother used to, hold him as tight as he can, and quietly answer back “I know, I know you do, it’s ok, you’ll be alright, I won’t leave you.”

“Let me go.” Loki sobs and Thor answers back “Never.”

“Please, I beg you. I cannot take it. I want to die. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”

He should have known, Loki had just tried to kill himself, but Thor could not help but be surprised.

“Why Loki? Why do you wish to die? Why do you say such things?”

“I do not deserve to live.”

“Yes, you do.”

“ _You do not know what I have done_ Thor. It- it explains everything, there is nothing good inside. I- I- I am a- a monster. It comes so easily because it’s- it’s a part of me.”

Thor could feel his whole body going cold from those words, the confession of what Loki was, but he marched on anyway. He did not know how much of what Loki said was right, he had truly been thinking something somewhat similar earlier but it did not matter now.

“No. Whatever you have done you do not deserve to die for it. Hear me now Loki, you are not a monster, for if you are then I am as well because you are my brother, no matter who bore you.”

“No you- you don’t understand- You could NEVER understand, the golden son is not a monster.”

“Loki I have mindlessly slaughtered your people for sport, and I cannot think of a sin more terrible and would not blame you if you could not forgive me, but you are not a monster, or if you are, no more than I. I need you to understand that.”

“Surely there is no way, no reality were you could see me as more than a mindless beast.”

Thors head hung in shame, but he knew he could not lie.

“I- In all honesty, when I first learned of your….. Origins….. it took all my will not to disown you right then. And I cannot say in truthfulness that I am…. Happy with this in any way or that I understand it but-  But my happiness, or unhappiness, is…irrelevant. Whether I like it or not you are Jotun, and neither of us can change that. But I had always thought that the Jotar were mindless savages but you are the most clever person I know. And whether that is because you are simply different or if we have been taught wrong about the Jotar I do not know but I do know this: I will take you however you come. You are my broth- um.. sibling no matter what and nothing can change that.”

Lokis eyes filled with tears and though he said nothing he calmed down and buried his face into Thors shoulder and that was enough.

Later, Thor would let go of Loki. Later Loki would tell Thor of how he ruined his coronation but would be forgiven. Later Thor would get a cloth and clean the blood off of Loki and stitch his wounds.

Later.

But for now, they laid there together, not letting go of each other for a second as they slowly drifted off.

**Author's Note:**

> Non important but it's very important to me everyone know that Laufey was Lokis MOTHER (Jotar are all intersex)


End file.
